onsdag 9. januar 2008

Learning to love your life

"Believe it or not, every day is a blank slate - a canvass upon which to draw your own picture.

Why then does it seem as though the day is already mapped out for you - demands, jobs, commitments, emotions and so on? The list of what fills your day can be endless. Or, on the other hand, your day can seem to be empty, devoid of real purpose or activity. Either way, the day seems to be created for you, not by you.

How do you create your own day again?
Things to take into consideration...

Your unique destiny:
Everyone single person has a reason for being, or else they simply wouldn't be here. You brought yourself into existence. Why?

This is a good question, and in fact you can spend a lifetime answering it, or at least, revising your answer. Even if you are not fully aware of your destiny, you can still link into some reason for being here now.

To change your life, you must take steps forward from where you are now. You can't simply work out a new life in your head and then jump into it. Everything in the universe requires a focused intention to come into being. So your new life too, will require some intelligent focus before it comes into being.

Instead of becoming disconnected in your thoughts, imagining where you should be / want to be / don't want to be ... focus on understanding why you are where you are. What does this step mean in the context of your entire journey? You cannot move into the next town without having traveled the road that leads to it.

Piecing the puzzle together
This is called ‘finding the pieces of the puzzle’. Understand how each part of your life is a piece and each piece fits together in a great picture - and that picture is your life story. The reason for using the puzzle analogy is that with a puzzle, it doesn't make any sense until you put all the pieces together. And sometimes life is like that - you don't understand the full picture until you have lived out a bit and gone through certain experiences. Sure, your intuition can support you in gaining a vision of what the final picture is, but unless you are a very open and flexible person, this vision can become just another expectation in your mind. Many people hold on to these expectations in their mind of where they are going or how their life is going to turn out. These expectations become burdens that they then carry into each new day. This is what stops most of us from painting on our empty canvas. Instead of looking out the window, eager for what we might see, we look out expecting to see the same scenery as yesterday. These expectations are what stops life from being fresh and new.

How to reclaim your happiness
True and lasting happiness only comes when you are flowing with life. People who can be happy in the face of adverse circumstances are a marvel to us all. We admire these people because we know that sometimes it is a challenge to be happy, even when you don't have any reason to complain. One of the most extraordinary recorded examples of the triumph of a positive attitude in the face of adversity is the example of Victor Frankl. Victor Frankl was imprisoned in a concentration camp in Nazi Germany, a horrific and traumatic experience, everyone will agree. However Victor took a different approach. Being scientific in mind, he observed that those prisoners who had something to live for, a meaning in their life, actually lived longer. Those who felt there was no meaning gave up and died. Victor found that it didn't matter what the meaning was: love, family, work, whatever floats your boat. It is unique and personal. Yet the common element was the sense of meaning in life.
The important message in this is clear: how you choose to look at your life has profound implications for personal happiness, regardless of your actual circumstances.

How can you connect with your destiny?
The meaning of your life does not come from achieving certain goals or having a great relationship. These things will come and go in life. Your personal destiny is a sense of why you are here and who you really are. When you are connected to this feeling, it is easy to direct your boat through the sometimes turbulent waters of life. You know which direction to take because you have a sense of what is important for you. This sense of destiny can help you to overcome great obstacles and do great things. Stop and think for a moment:

*       What is really important to you?
*       What is the gift that you bring into the world?
*       What are you most valued for with others?

Starting the day afresh.
Before you start each day, just stop. Take a few minutes to connect with your unfolding destiny. Remember, you may not know the whole story but you can see a sign that will take you to the next step.

No matter what you feel is going wrong in your life - relationship issues, emotional dissatisfaction, boredom, or whatever - take a minute to reconnect with what is most important in your life: YOU! So many times, we allow other people to become the important thing in our life: holding onto a relationship, striving to reach an achievement, searching for the missing half. All these things take you further and further away from your true happiness. Your happiness doesn't lie in achieving goals or having a perfect life. We see plenty of grumpy celebrities out there, despite having what seems to be a perfect body, a perfect relationship and lots of money. When you are connected to your true self - your unique inner strength and your purpose in life to share that gift with the world -your life transforms! People are drawn to you, good things happen spontaneously for you, and when they don't, you have the inner courage to overcome the difficulties with grace. It may sound like a dream, but it isn't. If Victor Frankl can do it whilst being tortured in a prison, we can do it in the comfort of our ordinary lives too!